Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Who are you...REALLY??!

We all put on facades and try to pretend like everything is wonderful when our lives are a mess. We usually put on a smile and say "Good!" when someone asks how we are doing. Why is that? What is it about true honesty that scares us? Maybe it's pride. Maybe it's fear...which in a weird way...IS pride. Maybe it's an unwillingness to let everyone into your private affairs. Whatever the reason...I want to challenge you this week to be totally honest.

My husband and I went to a company dinner a few months back and some friends of ours were there. I took my 3 year old in the bathroom to wipe his nose and I saw my friend and asked her how she was doing. Her response caught me off guard. She told me she was having a hard night, she was emotional (just had a baby) and did not feel comfortable. I told her I was sorry and went back to my table. I thought about what she said. Then it dawned on me. I felt more respect for her due to that honesty. Not that I never did before, it just made me think of her differently. In a way, she had more self confidence to tell me how she really felt rather than be "polite" and keep it in. I called her the next morning to see if she was feeling any better and we were able to have a heartfelt conversation that is rare for her and me. It was nice. All of that was due to her honest heart.

When you really let yourself be open to your loved ones, it gives them a glimpse into your heart. You just might need an encouragement and they could be the ones happy to fill that need. There might even be a friend that would surprise you with the insight they have into an issue in your life. Sometimes the most unlikely people carry the wisest and most gentle encouragement.

My husband is my best friend. I understand there are needs he fills that no one else can. I am not saying for you to go out and replace what you have with your husband, with a friend or family member. My viewpoint is more like sharing my struggles regarding my role of wife and mother. My tasks at home that take up too much of my time, child rearing, cooking, feeling insignificant.... anything I know my friends can relate to because they share the same wife/mother's heart as I do. I have found when I shared, I have been amazed at the practical advice I have been given. Just like Proverbs 25:11 states: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver". Sometimes when you open yourself up to someone, you feel better and less weighed down.

I also am aware there are people in your life that might not be the healthiest influence. Use your discretion and choose your friends and family whom you are open with wisely. There are some people that just want to get "dirt" on you and then hold it against you so they feel better about themselves (please see my previous post titled The Comparing Game). Others are just downright miserable and are not the appropriate people with whom to share. Have a healthy balance in sharing yourself, so it won't fall into a bad habit. Sometimes we just want to grumble and are not looking for advice. It might be best to keep to yourself on the matter.

Most importantly...the One who knows your heart inside and out...knows why you struggle, He should be the one we talk to the very most. God is compassionate and loving, a gentle Father and Shepherd. I actually don't mind grumbling to Him because I realize what I am doing and end up thanking Him for all the blessings He has given me :) I think a relationship with The Lord Jesus is the most important relationship you will ever have. Yes, you really can have an active relationship with Him. He speaks to my heart and uncovers sins and pride only He is able to see. Anything good that ever comes from me is from Him. His knowing my heart and whispering ever so softly where I fail and gently leading me where I should go. I have never heard a voice so sweet in telling me I was SO wrong. That's The Lord. The One who knit me in my mother's womb, leads and guides me.

I will try and remember to post how this week will be for me. I am going to try and be totally honest :) I hope you can join me in this journey!!


  1. Season, I accept the challenge. I'm going to be surrounded by Gene's family this week, so it may be tough. But I can do it! Pride is my problem. I know what you mean about grumbling to the Lord. The Holy Spirit and I have had some real heart to hearts in the shower. I can say anything to Him and He always knows just what to say. It's funny. I discovered that the Holy Spirit wouldn't be in Heaven because He won't be needed. There will be a direct line to Jesus then. I felt sadness in losing such a close friend. Now, that is jumping the gun! It's pretty cool to have that relationship. I just wish I had found Him sooner!

  2. Season, I like this! I actually recently read a book titled "Trufaced". The preface is that we all hide behind masks and we are not true with ourselves, with each other, or even with God. It was quite a good book. It surprised me in reading this how unreal I truly am to most people, and even at times, to my husband. It has made me a take a deeper look at being real with those that I truly trust. I even find myself being more vulnerable with those not in my inner circle but just opening up to people at church or Bible study if it's an area that can minister to someone. It's been tough, but so good. I feel a sense of freedom from not carrying some of these heavy burdens myself.