I was reluctant to date anyone after I broke off my previous relationship. It was unhealthy and I ended up having a "come to Jesus" moment. The year and a half I spent with this person had brought me to an all time low. I had compromised what I believed and became a person I no longer recognized. One night after my eyes were opened to the cesspool I was living in, I re-dedicated my life to being a Christian and got rid of everything that stood in the way. It took me at least 6 months to even consider dating anyone; and when the option was open, I was always suspicious it would end horribly. Well. I guess my reservations were spot on this time.
His name was, let's say "Reg". Reg met me through my sister and cousin. I didn't go out much, so when I did, I had my boxing gloves on just in case I met someone trying to bust a move. He immediately liked my sass, which I wasn't trying to use to get his attention. He seemed like a nice guy and did his best to talk me into a date. I reluctantly agreed; I mean, he really tried and I was impressed I didn't scare the poor guy off after my cold reaction. I wasn't very nice to many men at this time, so his eagerness to woo me paid off for him. Fine, let's give this guy a shot!
He picks me up and opens the door for me. Nice. He was polite and complimentary.
I honestly can't remember where we went, but I am sure I enjoyed myself. My guard was still up, but he was really trying. He invited me to his house to watch a movie. Okay, I thought. I see no harm in a little movie. We go in his apartment and we sit down on the futon in the living room. You know, it's like 1999 at this time, so you all know you had a futon! He asks if I would like to listen to some music. I said okay and he handed me a case full of cds. He told me to take my pick and I started browsing through each disc. Rap, rap, R&B, rap, R&B, R&B.. ugh. I get to the back of the case logic and notice country music. Country music?! It didn't add up to me. Okay, note to self. I think his
As you can see, I am already suspicious he has a girlfriend. I'll keep looking for clues, just in case I'm right.
I couldn't find any music I liked, so I asked to use the bathroom and then we could watch the movie. He ran into the bathroom and made sure it was decent enough for me to use. Apparently in his search, he realized he'd clogged the toilet. As he's plunging the clog, he's yelling out the bathroom door he is SO sorry. I thought it was pretty funny. Awkward! As he is wrestling with his.. you know... I decide to walk around the living room and scope out the situation. Hmm... this place looks too put together. I see a woman's touch here. I am looking at pictures and taking it all in... still feeling that nagging sense something's not right. I go in the post-clogged bathroom and as I go to the mirror to put on some lipstick, I notice not one, but three toothbrushes on the sink. Three? Okay, I know he has a son, but one son. Note to self, the girlfriend must still either live here or sleeps here.
I walk out and we sit down on that awesome futon. I immediately ask him again if he is with the mother of his son. He assures me he's not and reminded me they broke up recently. I tell him my suspicions and all the things I noticed around the house. He seemed taken aback, which in my mind confirmed his guilt. I guess we will just have to wait it out and see. He pleaded as we talked that I understand he is not with her but they still keep in contact.
He puts the movie on and asks if he can turn off the light (it was a scary movie). Sure, why not. He then changes the futon to a bed and asks if he can take off his shirt. Umm..? I probably laughed at him and said that's fine with me. I am starting to get a kick out of this guy. He is trying to show me how built he is.. oh dear. This guy doesn't know me at all. Even though I admit, he was very good looking. He was a nice dresser, very built and had stellar manners. I roll my eyes and keep my attention to the movie. What a nerd. Really? He took his shirt off? My attraction lies in the personality and mind of a guy. You could be a 10 in looks and I'd call you a 3 if your personality is dull or you don't have a good sense of humor.
As he is laying behind me on his side, kicking back.... I am feeling uncomfortable. I want to go home. I'll get through this corny show and I'm making him take me home. As I am smiling to myself at the nerve of this shirtless guy, I hear a noise at the door.... a blonde girl (who obviously has a key) opens the door and turns on the light.
"Reg! I have been calling you all night! Did you turn off your phone? WHO IS THIS?!!" She starts screaming at him.. swearing and insulting my morals. I was called a few choice words.
Now you've got to look at the girlfriend's perspective. She has obviously been trying to call him and he's not answering. She walks in the door and sees the futon turned into a bed, her boyfriend shirtless with another woman.. and the lights off. Hahaha, oh this is bad!
As she's yelling at him, he is still trying to maintain they are not together.
I speak up and tell this poor girl I had NO idea he was with anyone. She ignores me and starts packing her things.. still yelling.. then puts her things in her car. Wow. She's leaving him. Right. In. Front. Of. Me. They are still fighting back and forth and I am sitting on that futon in shock. I shouldn't be here. What a guy! Reg goes in the other room for some reason and as his girlfriend is carrying another pile of her things to pack in the car, I stop her. I tell her again I had no idea this jerk was with anyone and I am leaving. She seems to hear me, because the screaming stopped. He comes back in the room and she told him off, said she was leaving him... and left.
I am fuming. How dare he! That poor girl! I demand he takes me home and he pleads for me to stay. He knew there was no way he could win with me. He slowly slipped his jacket on (oh wait, he needed to put his shirt on first!) and picked up his keys.
The ride home was quiet. The old life I was just out of seemed to keep trying to lure me back in... I am so done with dating. He pulls in my driveway and tells me he has never met anyone like me before. I was beautiful and smart and .. blah blah. He knew he'd blown it with two women in the same night. I was upset not really for me but for that woman he hurt. As he begged me to give him another chance, I finally gave him a piece of my mind. Not only did I tell him what I thought of him, I told him he needed to work it out with the woman he just hurt. I said he needed to marry her and make it right. He dropped his head on the steering wheel and started to cry. Not wailing or big sobs.. more like a whine with the threat of tears soon to come. He said he didn't want to leave because he knew he'd never see me again. He wished he'd met me before because I was so unique.... ew! I've had enough! Goodbye! I opened the door and slammed it shut.
Never saw him again.
I heard he moped around for a while, then eventually reconciled and married his girlfriend.
Whew! I am so glad I am married! When I think back to times like this, I cringe.
Glad you could muck through the horror with me!! Until next time....